Fading Fear

One of the realizations I've had over the past 18 months is that I had developed a healthy need to feel rather comfortable in my daily environ. Not that this is a bad thing, mind you. But I was existing in my own little insula of daily routine, familiarity with my surroundings, and in the assurance that there were no problems I'd come across in my day that I couldn't handle.

Need proof? Consider the following:

• I had the same job for 11 years.
• I've lived in the same home for almost 13 years.
  
• I had the same part-time job for almost 20 years.
• I've been in the same career area for over 20 years.
• I've had the same wife for over 20 years.

(Oops...probably wasn't supposed to include that last one!)

Though I left home at 18 to join the military, and spent the next four years living in Texas, Illinois and (most of my time in) Alaska, had traveled to most of the States in the Union (including Hawaii and not California), and had done a variety of fun and exciting trips (Bahamas, Mexico, Canada, etc.), I've done almost nothing the past 15 years.

Needless to say, I had become a bit risk adverse. But here was the kicker: I didn't know it until recently. (A planned trip to Chicago and a conversation with a good friend made it clear...)

So...I decided to make a few changes. (Ok...that's not quite accurate. In fairness, it was change precipitated by the Providential prodding of the Almighty to get off my royal duff.)

You see, I liked having all the answers and knowing what came next. And though I had many opportunities to "jump ship", I unwittingly looked at my own grass and found it to be a lovely shade of emerald. Why leave for new lawn when your own doesn't look too bad? While I believe there are many folks to whom the "grass is always greener on the other side" allegory holds firm, I was one of the poor fellows who instead struggled with the concept of striking whilst the iron was hot.

Change was needed. More so was the need to understand this need.

For me, the requisite metamorphosis began with the completion of my MBA -- where the staff at Cornerstone University (<-- click to see video), along with some well-placed instruction at the writings of Thomas Friedman (The World is Flat), Peter Drucker (Innovation and Entrepreneurship), and the duo of Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne (Blue Ocean Strategy) opened my eyes to things outside the realm of current experience.

(Disclaimer regarding these books: I felt that two of the three works -- Drucker withstanding -- had significant portions of Pollyanna-ish pandering that either were too simplistic/optimistic, or drew conclusions based on narrow research...OR both. Still solid books with many good observations/assertions. Just not "perfect" by any stretch.)

Simultaneous to the conclusion of my graduate program came the realization that -- though my efforts at work were appreciated by my peers locally and throughout the State, they were devalued significantly by our organizational leadership (almost all of which started after I did). So...I made a change -- and believe that it the hand of the Father in doing so.

In this change, I quickly discovered that I did not know a ton of things in my new role -- even though the new digs were something I was familiar with. Still, I now was the low man on the totem pole in terms of knowing what the heck was going on around me. I often did not have the answers, had to consult several others before deciding on a course of action, and was unsure of myself for the first time in many, many moons.

And though I feared this change in many ways, I was caught unaware by something I had not foreseen.

What revelation had gripped me?

In summary, that...it's ok.

• It's ok to not know all the answers.
• It's ok to be new.
• It's ok to have to rely (heavily) on the expertise of others (though "trust and verify" will always be ingrained in my DNA).
• It's ok to take a chance on something different.

And at the end of the first month, the fear and trepidation which kept me tied to the familiar had actually done me a great disservice. I had to relearn what it was like to be new at something, and what it was like to begin creating green grass where I was at. Also, I had new requirements of me replacing the repetitive autonomy that greeted me each day. These things are good in that they prepare you to be flexible to others and to lead even when you're unsure of what's going on. (Good leaders need to be vulnerable -- but that's a topic for another day.)

The summation of this blog is that many people who approach the winter of their life have regrets (as I know I will someday). But they do not say things like, "Gee...I wish I would have made more money" or "...stayed in that job" or "...been less risky". From the conversations I've had with those reaching retirement age, the number one theme I hear is that they regret not having taken a chance on something they "always wanted to do" while they were in the prime of their lives.

Well...this step off my comfortable confines is doing the same thing for me -- and moving me in a new direction that could hold all kinds of change for the future. As a bonus, I also get to learn that -- in spite of my inadequacies and mistakes -- it's all ok.

Here's a great quote that I'll leave you with attributed to Benjamin Franklin:

"All mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move."

Pondering Good Leaders

After a rather busy stretch of work, I'm finally able to take a break and post some of last week's thoughts on this, my day off.

One of the books I started reading was John Maxwell's 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. It's a bit odd, really, that I'm reading no less than 3 books at present: JRR Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring for the past few weeks to the kids (with all my voice characterizations as I go), and a 2-book series entitled: Gemworld by John Vorholt. And...this doesn't include the books on CD I'm listening to as I commute the 46 miles to and from my work. Scary...I don't think of myself as a reader.

The Maxwell book begins with a rather unique preface extolling the reader to make it a book to ponder through. It would be an otherwise easy read and could be consumed in one sitting. But Maxwell asks the reader not to take that approach, and instead slowly digest each chapter as you feel your way through the book topic by topic. Apparantly one of Maxwell's friends did this while leading their company with his hallmark 21 Indisputable Laws of Leadership book -- purposefully considering each "law" and it's application through the week.

So that's where I began with chapter 1...about "Character". There were some damning ideas in there as to the person I've been in my life (and an encounter with the wife later the same day I read Chapter 1 did nothing to assuage my own critical opinions of self). We can all look at our past and dwell on the times where we've displayed anything other than the qualities of integrity, humility, faithfulness, etc. But the point of the chapter -- to be a person of character as the first indispensible quality of a leader -- is one that I otherwise feel pretty good about. (This chapter can be found electronically here.)

[Rant on]At this point, I'd like to do a quick side rant about John Maxwell. In my opinion, he's a smart guy and who has surrounded himself with smart people. But I despise anything that comes to a nice, neat number. If the first "21" book didn't raise the question, matching the number on the 2nd book certainly reinforced my annoyance that there was at least as much marketing awareness in the scribing of his tome as there was about Indispensability. Another annoyance is Maxwell's penchant to convey his ideas that seem to be "pre-conceived opinion that he looks to invoke into his material" rather than genuine observation born out of extensive research.[Rant off]

All that said, I know he's done more thinking and study on the topic of Leadership than most anyone else, and I do (generally) appreciate the challenge of reading through his materials. More times than not, I agree with his observations and am certainly appreciative of his work.

Now...this is a long-winded introduction to the musing that was spurred on by my foray into Maxwell's op-ed on the qualities of a leader. As I sat in my office (so glad to not be in a cube!), I meandered through the leaders that I thought were very solid.

As the names floated by, I was surprised to discover a common thread: 3/4ths of the best leaders I've known were women.

My first thought was, "Wow...I'm getting hungry." (It was late in the day.)

My next thought (which actually coincides with this journal and less with my desire to dine) was, "Why women? And what are the traits of these leaders that stand out? What are some of those things I admire and strive to attain?"

Juxtaposed against this revelation was the next realization: that some of the worst leaders I've known have also been women.

So my musing was engaged in earnest as I considered why there were more excellent female leaders than male leaders in my experience.

The first epiphany was the ability of the excellent women leaders to be able to keep their eyes on so many balls. The female leaders I've known have been able to effectively keep their mind on everything that needs to be attended to without losing focus. The old generality/adage about women being able to multitask seemed to be in play. Compared to many men, I feel I do this well. Compared against these women who were excellent leaders, I pretty much suck. So it is a trait that I admire.

Prioritization was the next idea that came to the fore. Even though leaders have a responsibility to focus on several concerns simultaneously, they cannot all take the same level of priority. The leaders that did a great job of prioritization were able to see through the dust of rabid activity and ferret out the critical from the mundane. This quality was certainly the sibling of multitasking, though quite different. Being able to keep many balls airborne is a gift in itself, but being able to provide the right amount of thrust correlated to the weight of each suspended orb is of even greater value. And in my experience, women do this better than men.

The final consideration I had was the communication abilities of leaders. Now, I consider myself to be an excellent communicator -- meaning that I not only speak effectively, but also listen well (when not multitasking!). However, the individuals that I greatly admire for their effective communication are almost ALWAYS women. It's not just the effective ability to speak, it's the intuition with which they gauge the listener -- or audience -- and modify their message accordingly. While there can be great male speakers, very few seem to be able to modulate their approach as necessary. It's like there's a stronger connection with who they are and what their message is than there is a need to communicate in a way that the receiver will be able to envelop.

As I shared some of these thoughts with Mrs. Musings, she proposed another area of admiration that I was neglecting. Female leaders do a better job of caring for those under their purview than do male leaders. She attributed it to the concept of women looking out for their own as they are (generally) naturally-wired nurturers. I paused on this, and slowly came to agreement. One of the benchmarks of solid leadership is to examine the followers. Do they feel like they're being taken care of? Are they in touch with the direction they are being led? Do they feel like they can approach the leader with anything? After considering the male vs. female leaders I've known, I had to proffer agreement with the premise of her supposition. (That's a fancy way to say, "She was right!" without really having to admit it.)

The last addition -- also credited to Mrs. Musings -- was the idea of affirmation. In my experience, women are better at ensuring their followers are affirmed than are men. Thinking about that, I realized that affirmation isn't a one-size-fits-all crown that can be gifted to anyone. It's a tailor-made hat that uniquely fits its wearer, whether its a top hat, a ball cap, or a fedora. The key ingredient is that it reflects the individuality of the affirmed. And in my experience, the leaders who have best accomplished this are from Venus, while we Martians still have a lot to learn. ("Take me to your leader" anyone??)

All this said, the worst leaders I've known have also been women. Without the long diatribe, the common threads I've experienced are: micro-managing/controlling, manipulative, overly assertive, bullying, unforgiving, imposingly critical and self-absorbed. These are "leaders" who want it their way -- and don't want you in their way.

So...on my experiential "bell curve" of leadership, I think men occupy the "near average" area, while women occupy the "plus-or-minus-2-standard-deviations-from-the-mean" tails. (This is not to say that I've ne'er encountered some excellent male leaders. But their commonality is the military -- which puts more purposeful focus on leadership than any organization I've known. Again -- a musing for another day.)

What this thesis doesn't account for is pretty obvious: Me. There are replete opportunities where the (very) strong women in my life have prepared/damaged me to hold the unique receptors to female leadership that may taint my perspectives. (Just admitting that seems like it holds less sway than it would otherwise...)

But these are my musing for today, and if you're a good female leader -- be it at work, church or home -- then good on ya!

Satisfaction with Cuts

One of my many musings is about the migration of our society from agrarian to urban. A less-populated America was based solidly in the country with reliance on the city for tradesmen, few merchants and even fewer degreed professionals. Metropolitan hubs held less influence, and everyone was a bit more thankful for their daily bread.

If you stretched a bit of Tolkien's allegory, Hobbits could be inferred to represent a society that used-to-be. A love of good-tilled earth. Food and drink. Playing games and jesting. This could be an apt description of a people all but gone from the landscape of today's heritage where corporate farms do more to feed us than the labor of families. The simple folk who worked hard and died old were dependent on the land, the weather, and ultimately -- their God -- for every iota of their existence...and provided subsistence for those that would find their employ anywhere but the farm.

Over the past 30 years, this transition has occurred. We've become amazingly efficient agriculturally. The work of 100 families can be done by 15 laborers with better technology and machinery today. These are good things. But what's been lost?

For one, people believe that there is no need to rely on anything but themselves. Farming communities were just that: Communities. People that help each other, know each other, fight with each other, love each other. But the topic of community would be better explored another day. It is but one of the considerations of things lost.

Another is the ease with which we dismiss these essential elements in allowing us to meander after our own pursuits. The suburbanites of today exist with the only worries about what to do with their next paycheck and the upcoming weekend. The gains in agricultural productivity have afforded an even greater number in our society who can instead invest time in the study of every possible distraction without giving thought to their next meal. As such, many have become jaded towards the same foundational reliance upon good labor, good land and good weather for their existence. Most importantly, it's allowed us to forget the existence of a Creator who provide for us.

So what does this all have to do with cuts?

This past weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time in trying to hunt for deer, for preparing my tractor for the winter, cutting down dead trees and fallen branches, cutting down a tree for Christmas, and in cleaning out a large shed I built with my own hands. I look at my hands now -- which have been in the soil, sawdust, oil, dirt, pine tar -- and see cuts. Lots of them. All but one of them came without my knowing it. A half-dozen scars on my hands with immovable darkness in the crevasses of my fingers that will only come out in time.

And it feels good.

It is satisfying to be able to look at the individual work of my hands. To know that THIS is a reflection of the Creator who gives me these opposable digits for use in things that go beyond the comfort of a computer, and sheltered office and a chair. It serves as a reminder to me that every endeavor of meaning comes with some bloodshed -- and that my very comfort is purchased with the sacrifice of others that raise food so I don't have to.

Most importantly, it is reminder that is only an arms-length away.

It reminds me that in the deluge of efficiency, the simplest of things can be forgone and forgotten. It reminds me that when we strip away all of our machinery and technology, all of our education and current philosophies, all of the trivialities, trials and tribulations of our lives today, we are still dependent -- all of us -- on Maslow's base-level physiological hierarchy.

Faith in things unseen -- like that we're still relying on good labor, good land, good weather, and the Love of a good God to provide. Whether we see it or not, it is there. Without it, pretty much everything else would not matter.

And in this reminder, I take great satisfaction in these cuts of my labor-worn hands.